I am about to transmute pain into positivity. Watch this. Here's the bad news first... a VERY condensed version.
Last Friday night, I was shoved by a woman who has been stalking and harassing me & my kids for about 14 months now. On Sunday, two of my kids were assaulted by a group of five other kids throwing apples, rocks, and a full soda bottle at point blank range. Finally, on Monday night, my mom (owner of the house we lived in since 2011) changed the locks and then my brother (he and his wife moved into the house in March and everything fell apart) told my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to go back home to sleep or check on our animals.
Because of the toxicity of these relationships and an inability to work things out to a win-win with codependent and controlling people, I have been seeking out other solutions and options so that we can be free in every sense of the word.
So... how do I turn attack, homelessness, and stress into something positive? Let me show you how I have come to see how the Universe works for us as humans.
Of course we are still going through our grieving process. My kids and I are stressed the fuck out and disappointed and heartbroken and unsure of what to do. My parents want my kids to move in with them, but I'm not welcome. This isn't the first time they have tried to take my kids away from me because I don't want to be Catholic.
The first time, they threatened to kick me out and keep my kids unless I went to college and got a degree. So I did. Now I'm $80,000 in debt, and my girls and I are couch surfing. How the fuck did that help me again?
I gained skills and knowledge that helped me build a career in the publishing industry WITHOUT having an English degree. I work completely independently, and the more burned out I became, the less projects came to me, and the more I wanted to work on something sustainable and reliable. I was ready to be ready to be ready (Abraham-Hicks) for success at a new, higher level.
My inspiration led me to start creating online courses about self-publishing, using my knowledge to build a database of information I can give away, sell, share, and refine as I refine my knowledge.
I just sold my first course enrollment yesterday!!! This is the encouragement, and these are the creative works that I feel I am meant to share with people. How do I know that this is what I'm meant to do? Because it's effortless and feels amazing. I also love the way I feel when I'm working on my novels and other books. I also love the way I feel when I'm working on my music.
Now... when everything is falling apart like it has been for me over the last 12 months very intensely, the ONLY knowledge (faith, for most... KNOWING is the next level of faith) that makes this clusterfuck mountain of life problems, harassment, and ridiculousness bearable is that everything happens for a reason.
Life is falling apart so that it's easy for us to leave when the time comes. Some relationships are appearing currently (probably temporarily) unsalvageable because I needed room in my life for the relationships that are meant to serve my life purpose NOW and in the future.
It's a SHIFT. A change for the better. A positive beginning borne of negative insanity and toxic relationships. Like the lotus flower, my girls and I are growing through muck and yuck and murky mud to surface as one of the most beautiful blooms on the planet (IMO).
BUT WE HAVE TO GROW THROUGH THE MUCK TO REACH THE SURFACE.
So... the next time you go through a ton of insanity in your life, start paying attention on deeper levels. Start thinking about what you're doing when you notice coincidences or synchronicities (like significant numbers, songs, etc.). This is the magic of life and will sometimes help you to know that you're headed in the right direction.
So... my bestie and her family are going to CO and I will try to follow. I think it will be good for me and the girls. We were all talking about this in the morning before doing our own thing.
At 12:22, my bestie (whom I met in CO when I was 9... in the 90s) came into the kitchen wearing leggings and I said, "Look, the 90s!" She proceeded to tell me that Straight Up by Paula Abdul came on the radio (I performed that in elementary school in CO in the 90s for a talent show with my mom whistling the melody and me playing the keyboard). Then my younger daughter came in playing Piano Tiles... Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx (I used to play that all the time in CO in the 90s), and her score was 444.
If those aren't signs from Source, I don't know what is!
THIS is part of what mindfulness and meditation are all about. Another synchronicity this morning was my bible verse of the day:
Isaiah 53:3; He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
(Talking about how everyone hated Jesus. He was a radical, remember? How dare he be himself and forward-thinking!!!)
After all of the attacks over the past few days/week. I think this was encouragement for me specifically, letting me know that I'm on the right path and not to let other people's hatred, insanity, and ridiculousness hold my emotional state down for long... because doing the right things is a lot more challenging than doing the wrong things for those who are not waking up yet.
Namaste, my friends... if your relationships are falling apart and seeming unfixable, and maybe other things are going wrong on a constant basis... why not allow Source to clear out what is unneeded in your life and bring you everything you've been asking for? The falling apart process has to occur in order for better things to come together. Don't get sucked into the emotional drama of the process; rather, allow it to happen and do the right things for yourself, for the YOU that deserves a better life.
Much love to you!
Twisted yet positive coffee enthusiast with an appreciation for blood, mystery, and Root Beer floats.
All content © Jennifer-Crystal Johnson.
For inquiries about speaking engagements, freelance work, or consulting, please email jen (at) brokenpublications (dot) com.